Hacking My Vagina

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Hacking My Vagina

Beautiful Girls

For the beast in you:

Beautiful Girls, Glorious Delusion

This Isn't Real

(2013 note: This was written for a forum both of us spent a lot of time on back in 2000.  It was during the time I was writing "How to Make Love Die".  These events happened a few months after the end of the book. Be warned, it's a cheating wife story.  All of it is true except for the names.)

This Isn't Real

Where to start?  At the beginning of course.  Some of you know I've been lurking here for nearly a year, and posting for several months.  I've been mostly separated from my wife of 16 years for the last 8 months and not really trying to start a new relationship.  It's too complicated right now.  Or so I thought.

Anyway, in response to a poll on the forum, I posted a list of priorities for an affair as a joke:

>> 1. Intimacy - being there emotionally.
>> 2. Chemistry - that sexual connection.
>> 3. Personality - a smile that melts butter.
>> 4. Intellectually - a tight little mind with a lot of snap.
>> 5. A cute ass that moves with a defined rhythm.
>> 6. Nice set of tits that liked to be played with.
>> 7. The ability to suck-start a Harley with the ignition off.

>> Sorry. I got carried away. You only wanted 4,
>> right?

>> JackOfHearts

Well, this Sweet Angel responded with:

> why stop at 7? i was so enjoying your list!
> care to add to it? i love your way with words!

To someone who is learning to write, your observation is graphic seduction.  (She also emailed me directly and we began to correspond (in ALL meanings of that word.))  But I had better shorten this, or I'll never get to the good parts.  Here's how she described herself:

> My stats?  I am 34, married 12 years, 3 kids,
> live in the midwest, 5'2", 107 lbs.
> fair skin, green eyes,
> crazy hair (julia roberts, brown and curly)

Later she told me she was 35C-25-35.  DAMN!  She was perfect!  At least close to my ideal.  I was interested.  Who said looks don't matter?

Now I've heard the stories about 14 year old boys getting creative, but this was worth finding out about. Was I being scammed?  Maybe.  She wouldn't send me a picture, and that's not a good sign.

None the less, I continued flirting and got more intrigued.  At one point I posted this when discussing affairs:

>> But really, this forum isn't the place to go get laid.
>> Most of the ladies here are not only married,
>> but are also in love with a secret boyfriend!
>> It might be better to hang out at the PTA forum.

Shows what I know!  She informed me she separated sex and emotion very well.  This didn't
sound too complicated.  The flirting continued.  I wrote back:

>> I not dangerous at all, unless the chemistry
>> is right, your husband is not there, you are
>> pissed off at your boyfriend, we are alone in a dark,
>> warm and comfortable place, and I just can't
>> get the smell your hair out of my mind
>> and you are dragging your fingers across
>> the top of my knuckles and I love the way
>> the inside of your lip feels against the
>> tip of my tongue and the way you are
>> trembling against my chest.

>> Yes, then I'm dangerous.

Well, you get the idea.  I was just kidding around.  But she took me seriously and started getting a little more graphic though we never really did get into full blown cybersex:

> you should know that i have an oral fixation.  can a
> blow job be a fetish?  it is for me.  so i love
> hearing your perspective.  maybe someday i will
> share my perspective....

Now "I" was getting serious.  She's from Chicago, but was going to be in Reno on vacation this last week and my mind started planning and then planted a line:

>> And if you do not want to get caught, pick
>> someone out of town that you can have a
>> quick three day affair with.

And I got a positive response!

> I would love that kind of adventure!

So now it was time for details.

>> Good!  That's it. I hope you are ready
>> for this.  I drive to Reno.  You meet me
>> for dinner.
>>
>> That's it.  No expectation, no limits.
>> You do what you want, I do what I want.
>> To be honest, these things usually don't
>> work out.  That's fine. I'll understand.
>>  We'll have a nice dinner and laugh about
>>  it afterwards.

We were on a roll.  Could this work?

> OMG--- r u as crazy as i am
> o my.  i dont know what to think.  i read it all
> several times..... i
> think you are crazy.  but in a good way.....
> i think i am crazy too, not sure about the
> good part....
> crazier still that i am considering it.

> OMG.

> i just dont know. and you are so right about me:
> "Scared and out of control and carried away."
> now, another dimension of confusion to add to
> my life.  geez.
> <shaking my head in disbelief>

Well, I took that as a firm maybe but kept the heat on. This was more exciting than I though it would be. And it was getting scary.  It's hard to describe.  She seemed to be going with it.

> glad to hear you are having fun with this...
> i am too!  my own little secret.... lol....
> i am having fun, but i am still shaking my head
> over this too.... this is a little wild....
> and soooooooo fun.......
> i am not saying no...... i just dont know
> exactly what i am saying...... pleading deaf
> and dumb? lol

I loved the way she had of NOT saying no.  I kept the pressure on.  And then I got what I was looking for.

> ill be there!

That was the whole email.  Three little words.  But that's all I needed.  And I didn't let up just because I had a commitment.  I had to keep her from getting cold feet until I got there.

I tried something new, a cyber-ode.  It's poetry and music from all over the internet.  It took about four hours to put together.  Here's a small sample:

>> Her message was short, but written to share.
>> She had only a few seconds to express it with care.
>> But said everything I wanted to hear.
>> In three little words:    
>> I'll be there!

OK, so I'm not a poet.  But some of these other guys are.  Here's some of what I found:

>> Turn your speakers on and then just click and go.
>> It's a single association virtual scrapbook.  Have
>> fun.

(2013 note - most of these links are long broken)

>> Just to get started
http://www.loveandromance.net/illbethere.html

>> Hot and wet!
http://bennysings.homepage.com/IllBeThere.htm

>> Get naked and party hard!
http://mardigras.neworleans.com/mardigras_feature/messages/911.html

I Swear I'll Be There
http://members.aol.com/HaPKathy/iswear.html

Finale!
http://www.forums.net/dreamer/letmebethere/

Well, you get the idea.  Anything to keep her from
changing her mind.

Next we were on forum chat.

Lil (forum friend), this paragraph's to you.  When I was having "problems" the other night in chat, it was because I was switching back and forth between you in public and SweetAngel in private.  I couldn't type fast enough to say what I wanted before her husband got home.  I was nailing down the time, place and hotel.  Sorry Lil, but I had priorities and she had my head spinning.  She kept laughing at me and telling me I was going to hit the private button on the wrong line and post it to you.  It was fun.  And I got my message across.

Then I decided to leave before she had second thoughts. She couldn't tell me no if I was already on the road.

I hopped in the car and drove like hell.  I also forgot most of my clothes on the bed.  I Remembered after 300 miles, so went out and bought some new ones when I got to Reno.

I also bought three different types of condoms.  I though maybe I'd get a chance to contrast and compare.  After all, I've been monogamous for 16 years.  I needed to get up to speed with the NEW sexual reality.

Then I had an idea.

I knew she was seeing her husband off at the airport at 12:30 AM.  We were to meet at 1:30 AM in front of the Silver Legacy casino.  But I didn't want to wait.  I wanted to surprise her.

I drove to the airport and staked out the gate for over an hour.  No show.  At least not as she described herself.  Maybe she WAS a 14 year old boy.  Or maybe she just dropped him at the curb.  I scrambled back to the casino.

I was still on time, but she wasn't here either.  She should have had time to get from the airport by now.

I waited another 20 minutes.  I was getting worried.

Would this be a thousand mile drive for nothing?

Then I saw her at a distance.  She was alone at 2:00 in the morning. She fit the description and more.  She was stunning!  Then her cute little questioning smile, "Jack?"

I handed her a rose.

Those first moments are difficult.  I felt very shy.

I wanted to hug her.  I wanted to run away.  I wanted to kiss her.  I was afraid to touch her.  We did an awkward half-hug, bum hips kind of thing.  I was overwhelmed by her smile.  This was GREAT!  This was awful!  What next?  I tried to relax.  It was tough.

We walked.  We talked.  I walked too fast.  I tried to slow down, but was so tense.

I offered her desert since it was kind of late for dinner.  She wasn't hungry.  I offered to take her
for a walk.  She wanted to sit down.  I offered to take her to my hotel room in the tower.  She said she didn't think that was such a good idea.  I felt like an asshole of suggesting it.

Now I know what you're thinking.  I was just trying to get her in bed, but that's not the case. My room had a great view and a nice couch.  It WAS a good place to sit and talk.  But yes, it was a stupid idea.

I wasn't thinking well.  I was just trying to figure out what SHE wanted.  As we walked, I tried to hold her hand, but even this felt to awkward.

We walked by some closed restaurants and sat down there. I know, I know.  Not very romantic, but I
couldn't think of anything else and it didn't seem to matter.

We talked and talked.  It was getting late.  She said she was tired.  It was 3:00 AM.  I offered to walk her back to her car so she could leave.

At this point, I had pretty well given up on the chemistry thing.  I had it bad, but she seemed so reserved, I couldn't tell.  I thought she might be trying to find a graceful way out.

It was a fun adventure anyway and I really was glad to meet her.  At that point I wanted to make parting as un-awkward as possible.  We walked back toward the parking garage.  I tried to put my arm around her but felt funny.  Was it me or her?  I couldn't tell and I decided to fail safe rather than be a REAL jerk. Just try and make the next few minutes pleasant.

But I had a problem.  I knew when I got to the car, there would be that awkward "do we kiss?" moment. Or do we not?  I couldn't tell.  Shit.  I didn't know how to make this last part easy.  And then I got it.  Make a preemptive strike.

As the elevator door closed, I turned and put both hands against the wall on either side of her.  She
looked up.  I kissed her.  Gently at first, but she opened her mouth.  And then she went wild!  The kiss continued nonstop.  Our arms went around each other.  This apparently had been building for both me AND her. Now it all broke lose.

Our hands were all over each other.  She was like an exploding bomb.  Or was it me?  Or was it both of us?

When we had been teasing on email, I had suggested she just wear a light summer dress, and that's all.  Well shoes of course.  I quickly discovered she had followed my suggestion.  I could feel her everywhere.  Nothing between us except that thin dress.

The elevator stopped.  The door opened.  We both look up.  No one there.  We went back to kissing as the door closed and took us to another floor automatically.  As long as the door was closed, I didn't care.

And she really knew how to kiss.  She was all over me and I was all over her.  The elevator stopped, but the door didn't open. Fine.

I reached for the hem of her dress from behind and just slid my hand up the back of her leg.  It was a hot night, but she was even hotter.  The farther up the back of her leg I went, the hotter she felt.

As I got close, she moved one leg to the side a little and granted me access.  She was already very wet everywhere. Even her legs were wet.  Two fingers slid in easily.  She moaned around my tongue.

Talk about fast transition!  From giving up on the relationship to having my fingers in her in only a few seconds!  I LOVE adventure!

She started fumbling with my pants just as the elevator door opened again.  A valet parking guy was standing there looking at us.  She let go of my pants.  We got out of the elevator shyly and looked around.

He stared at us until the door closed.

"Wrong floor", she said.  I grinned.  I couldn't stop grinning.  "Let's take the stairs", I said.  At the top of the stairs she looked around and said, "I don't see my car", as if this was enough to dismiss the subject.

She started kissing me again.  DAMN! Full speed ahead.  And now she was humping my leg.  I needed to take the lead before she pulled me down on the concrete in front of the elevators.

I asked, "which direction?".  I got a kind of a wave of her hand but she didn't bother to even open her eyes. She just laid her head against my shoulder and mumbled, "this isn't real".  I agreed, "this isn't real, but it will be if security shows up", I laughed.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and we headed out in the direction she indicated.  When we got to her car and she unlocked her door, I said, "let's go to my hotel".  She said no, I've got to get back.  Mom's going to wonder where I am.  She was staying with her parents.

What?! I didn't want her to leave.  I spun her around so I was against her car door to block it.  I kissed her again.  This kiss wasn't as big a surprise.  She was ready.  And this was no good night kiss either.  She didn't want to leave either.

I reached down and put my fingers back in, but from the front this time.  She began rocking against them. She reached down and lowered my zipper.  I backed up a little.  She already had her hand wrapped around my cock.

I reached down and pulled it out around my shorts.  I pushed it between her legs.  I was just going to
leave it there for a while, but she had other ideas.  She kind of squatted down a little so I could gain access. Again, I took the lead.  I rubbed the head against all her wetness a couple of times and then straight up in to her cunt.

All the way.

She groaned.  I found her mouth.  Another one of those wonderful kisses as I started a steady rhythm.  God, she felt good.  I wasn't going to last long.

And then a car came by.  I pulled out and pulled her dress down around us.  We both looked at the car and laughed at the same time.  They weren't looking at us.  The car went on.

We went back to the kiss.  My cock was caught between our stomachs.  She started rubbing her clit against the base of it and saying, "like that, like that, yes".  I pulled the strap of her dress down below her left tit.  I bent down and sucked on it trying to distract myself.  It was nicely shaped.

Next she did something that surprised me.  She reached down, grabbed my cock, hopped up on one leg, wrapped the other around my back and slid down over my cock again.  I remember thinking, if that's what you want, that's what you'll get.  I started fucking her hard.  She started making lots of noise.

I think she was getting close.  So was I.  Too close.

I pulled out just in time.  I was barely able to back off the peak.  She reached down and put me against her stomach again and continued humping me.  This was almost as good and I could hold out longer.  But she said, "I want you in me".  I had regained a little control.  Time for another try.

This time I pushed her against the other car and pulled up her dress just as she rotated her pelvis
out to meet me.  I drove up into her hard through my fist and then wrapped my arms around her neck holding her lips to mine as I steadied myself against the car with my other hand.  This was crazy.  I could smell her on my hand and her cheek.  In three strokes I was right back to the edge again.

Another car.  We froze.  I didn't pull out this time.  It felt good to just be in her.  The car went by.  I started applying pressure against her, but not moving at all.  That did it.  She said, "yes, like that, yes, yes, yes", but started moving her ass and the little strokes began again. And got deeper.
 
It didn't take long.  I was right back there. Something about the situation.  Something about this girl.  Something about her kiss.  I was usually fast the first time, but not this fast.

I slowed back down just to the pressure and said, "I don't want to get you pregnant and I can't control this". She gasp, "I'm on the pill, do it!".

Well you guys can relate to this part.  It's like in a drag race when all the lights go green at once.  You are already deep-staged and have a half second window to get it right.  You drop the clutch and push your foot to the floor.

I roared into that final slamming surge.  Her ass was against the door of the other car.  Her feet were coming off the ground with each up stroke.  I don't know if I lasted four strokes or five but I kept pounding away for 10 or 20.

There was lots of noise, but I don't know who was louder.  Pretty soon it was just the sound of our
breathing.  I kissed her again.  Soft this time.  Nice.  My fingers on her cheek were wet and sticky.  I loved the smell. Her eyes were still closed and once again she said, "this isn't real".

It was one of the most real experiences of my life, one of those all time great pieces of ass.  Such a strange lead up.  Such drama.  And then no doubt about chemistry or anything else.  During those last seconds, it's not romantic at all.  It's just DO IT.

We started laughing.  I said, "I forgot the condoms", as I zipped up.  She countered with, "I hope you don't have any diseases".  I told her my wife was pretty careful.  It's a good thing.  I'm obviously not.

Then again she said, "this isn't real".  I said, "you can believe that if you want, but it sure felt real to me".  She smiled.

I open her car door and said, let's go to my hotel.  She drove out to the street.  Cars were coming, but she could make it.  I said, "punch it Chewy!".  She said, "What?"  I noted it was a line from Star Wars.

I was glad she was driving.  I had my fingers in her again.  I was getting ready for round two, but she pulled up in front of my hotel door instead of parking.

"You're not coming up?"  She insisted she had to go.  I told her I wanted to see her tomorrow.  She said, "I don't know, I want to give my marriage a chance".

She added, "this is it.  This wasn't real".  I'm not going to call. I'm not going to see you tomorrow, but I want you to still be my email buddy."

"Sure, but at least call me", I responded.

"I don't think I can".

She also said she wasn't sure what was going to happen with her boyfriend, and that all her wires were crossed. She said her wires were like her hair, all tangled up.  I noticed her tangled hair and put my face in it. She didn't pull away or hold on.

I pulled back and tried to back off on the pressure, or maybe just gain control of myself.  Finally I told her this had already turned out far better than I had hoped and whatever happened tomorrow, I was OK with it. No strings.  I told her I had what I had came for.  And more.

But I didn't mean it.  I wanted to fuck her again right there.  I wanted to hold her.  I wanted to fall asleep with her.  I was barely able to breath normally.

I only kissed her instead.  She smiled again and I got out.  I didn't look back as I went into the hotel. Maybe I could tease her enough to get her back over tomorrow.

I walked into my room not touching the ground and fell on the bed.  I couldn't stop grinning.  I had been up for nearly 24 hours, but I felt great.  I didn't think about anything.  I just felt.  And I slept.

The next morning all I could do was think!  And it was all about her.  Was this really the end?  Would I never see her again?  I already missed her.  I wanted her in my bed.

And then it hit me.  Email!  I needed to find a Kinko's and send her an email.  I wasn't ready for this to be over.  I got dressed and headed out.

This is what I sent:

>> Subject: 0 to 200 MPH in 4 seconds!

>> You're like an exotic sports car.  How do I
>>  get this thing in gear?  Let's see that's
>> not working. How about this? WOW!  Hold on!
>> WWWWOOOOWWWW!

>> I don't care what I said last night, I DON'T
>> want just one little kiss.  I want MORE!
>> This doesn't have anything to do with your
>> marriage or even your boyfriend.

>>  It's about you and me!

>> So don't even think about it.  Just get here
>> as soon as you can.  Room 1233.

>> I only plan to leave to eat, or email you if
>> you don't show up.  But show up!  This
>> afternoon.  Tonight. As soon as you can
>> get away.

>> I love the way you feel in my arms. I LOVE the
>> way you surrender.  I was right about you.
>> I want to untangle your wires.  Or maybe
>> tangle them up some more.

>> I don't know about you, but it no longer
>> feels awkward. You destroyed that in about
>> 4 seconds.  And it's something I want to do.
>> More than I remember wanting in a long,
>> long time.

>> But it was just a teaser!  I want to stare in
>> your eyes and feel you tremble as you try NOT
>> to come.  And fail. Over and over.

>> I was full of bullshit last night when I said
>> I got everything I wanted.  I didn't.
>> I want YOU!  Now.  Right now!  We need to take
>> a shot at burning this thing out before I leave.

>> Let me make this special for you.  I mean that.
>> Give it a chance.  At least one more time.
>> I want to hold you at least one more time.
>> Or twenty.

She never got the email.  It got lost somewhere between Kinko's and Yahoo but I didn't know that at the time. I went back to the hotel and waited.  And waited. And waited.

A few hours later, she called.

"You got my email!", I exclaimed.

"What email?".

"From Kinko's!".

"I didn't get any email".

"But you called!".

"I couldn't help it.  I want to see you again".

"Don't worry, I'm not leaving until you get here".

"You make this too easy".

"I want to see you too.  I'm really glad you called".

I'll re-send the email, but just come anyway.  I'll be waiting".

And I waited for another couple of hours.  I had lots of time to think.  What was happening here?  I had misread her so badly last night, I had no confidence I understood anything at all.  I didn't care.  I just wanted to be with her.  See her.  Touch her.  Smell her.  It was pretty primal.  I would figure it out later.  Maybe.

I waited.  I watched TV.  I read.  I tried not to think to much.  It was because of, "this isn't real".  I was afraid of what it meant.  Or didn't mean.  I wanted to continue denying reality for as long as I could.  And then I heard the knock.

I went to the door and looked through the peep hole.  I saw darkness, or was that a thumb?  I swung open the door.  Her hand snaked from around the corner where she had been playing with the peep hole.

I grabbed her hand.  She rolled into my arms and we kissed.  "That's what I needed", I said.  "I need something else", she said, smiling.

We went in and closed the door.  At last some time alone with her.  I took it slow.     We sat on the
couch and I showed her pictures of my boys.

But she had other ideas.  She kept looking at my crotch!  I had on a swimming suit and she pushed me back on the couch and pull it down, laughing all the time.

She scooted up, reached back, grabbed my cock and sat down on it.  That simple.  That easy.  No resistance.  She was that wet.  She also had this big grin on her face. I kissed her again.

She pulled my tee-shirt off and I pulled her dress over her head.  She was instantly naked.  Just like before, nothing underneath.  But this time I could SEE her.  She sat up and began riding me in earnest.

She was beautiful.  Perfect breasts, and a stomach most women would kill for.  No lines, no marks, she was gorgeous.  And it all was moving.  Undulating over my hips.  I tried to take it all in at once.  I just stared.  I couldn't look hard enough, nor look away.

She open her eyes and said, "Don't look at me", in a teasing way like she wanted to make sure I was
looking at her.  She didn't have to worry.  I was trying to memorize everything about her.

Then she closed her eyes again and move her hand down to her trimmed pubic hair.  She began little circles on her clit.  I was fascinated.  I knew that as long as I stayed distracted watching her, I could last for a while.

Then she moved a little forward up my stomach so my cock was only about halfway in. I could feel the pressure she was applying behind her pelvic bone.

It was a weird position but I was fine with it.  It must have been just right for her, because her hand sped up so fast I thought she was going to hurt something.  "She must know what she's doing", I thought, and just continued watching.  Her face contorted.  She was coming that fast! It couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes. Wow!

"Tell me you can feel that", she moaned in a deep voice.  And I did.  I felt her contractions from the inside.  This lady was FUN!  I was mesmerized.  She was so beautiful and so swept away with her own sexual feelings.

Like some magnificent animal in a race she knew how to win.  She collapsed on top of me.  I held her.  I felt her heart beating.  I felt it from the inside around my cock.  I let her relax a while and then started slow movements from underneath.

I was just getting started.  This was the overture.  You know the part when they give you just a sample of all the music that you are going to hear in the show.  Whenever it started feeling too good, I changed positions.

I flipped her over on the couch, brought her legs up to her chin and I slid in again.  After a while, I picked her up and laid her on the bed.  I put her on her side with her legs together and her knees pulled up.  I went in from the back almost sitting on the bed.  This one felt great too.  Too great.

Without pulling out, I pulled her on to her knees in the classic doggy position.  When this got too good, I pulled her back into a sitting position and let her control things for a while.

I stopped just in time and laid her on her back next to me.  We were both hot and sweaty and EVERYTHING was slippery.  I went into her in the scissor position and laid there playing with her clit and pubic hair. It was nicely trimmed the same red/brown as her head.  This lady was authentic.

But she kept moving around my cock from the inside.  And the slippery skin got to be too much for me.  I threw my arms around her waist and hammered her from the side.  I might have hurt her a little.  She was starting to role to the side, but I couldn't stop.  I lost control and came very hard.  Damn!, she was fun!  I just laid there trying to breath.

We began talking about sexual histories and she also ask if I was an axe murderer.  I laughed at this but said I guess it's a valid concern.  We talked about her exhibitionism and her boyfriend.  She told me she wanted me to write about meeting her.  I told her I would.  So I am.

She got up to go to the bathroom and then started dressing.  "I thought you were going to stay for the evening!", I exclaimed.

"No, I only have a few minutes", was her answer.  Now I understood the problem with affairs.  No wonder she like to come fast.

"But you didn't come with me that last time.  I thought we had more time", I was grasping for straws.

"I did a few minutes ago, and last night! God, last night!  I have never come so fast in my life.
That's why I called today.  That's why I had to see you again", she explained.  Was this all about sex?  Was I a toy?

I ask her, "Am I just a dildo?".

"No, but you certainly ARE a fun toy", she used the very word I was thinking.

Then she looked at me kind of sad, "I going to break your heart, I think".

"I hope so", I said, and I meant it.

I didn't want her to leave.  I wasn't ready.

"Will you come back tomorrow?, I asked.

"No, and that's for sure", she answered.

"Then I'll leave town so you won't be tempted", my last attempt at some kind of balance. She had one of those enigmatic smiles.  You know, like the Mona Lisa.

She went to the door.  I was still naked.  We stood at the open door and kissed.  Another one of those really good ones.  God I couldn't let go, but I couldn't let her know I couldn't let go.  I let go.

She laughed walking down the hallway, "get back in there, you'll get arrested".

I let her walk away. I went back in.

She didn't know it, but then I cried.  I don't know where it came from.  It was a wonderful feeling.  She had a beautiful body and a great smile. The sex was fantastic, but for me, this was all about feeling again after leaving my wife.  It hurt, but it felt like a welcoming.  The best thing to do for a broken heart, is get it broken again.

I had found a strong and safe counter-balance to my wife.  It was a bitter-sweet victory.  This night I didn't sleep at all. I walked the casinos.

I thought about a lot of things.  Had I seduced her, or had she seduced me?  The score was tied at two and two, so maybe it was even.  We had seduced each other.  I wondered how she felt about me.  So much was still a mystery.

She's the one who described it when she was talking about our first time very early that morning.  She said it happened so fast, but was in slow motion.  That's how these last two days had been for me.  I would think about this little trip a lot.  It had been a fantastic first encounter.

So what was this all about really?  She called it her pocket fantasy, and that's where she said she was going to keep it, in her pocket.  I would keep it there too.  It was almost too good.

At sunrise I left.  I was afraid she would call.  This was as close as I wanted to get right now.  This was good enough.

Once again I drove.  And drove.

Jack


(2013 - When I post this story on the forum we got LOTS of feedback, plus and minus.  The sysop said we set a site hit record that day and the next.  Another lady I'd been flirting with on the board was VERY pissed.  Lots of the regulars knew us both, but thought I'd made it all up.  As you may recall, I'm not good with fiction. Finally, Sweet Angel posted)


i am going to say my piece, now let there be peace, PLEASE!
                                   by sweetangel

 i don't know who wants to read this, but i want to say it.

 i have been in great turmoil for over a year now. i see the last year as a big
 journey. i am going to try to answer some questions i have been asked, give some
 background, just tell my story.

 at some point in my marriage, i lost myself. the real and true core self. i felt like a
 shell. i was living the fairy-tale life, complete with loving, handsome and successful
 husband, wonderful children, lovely home, my own successful business. but where
 did i go?

 i set out to find myself. lots of introspection. reading. participating in many
 different types of cyber bulletin boards. sounds like a crazy conclusion, but i decided
 that i lost myself because of sex.

i have always been very sexual. it is a part of me. it is important to me. yet the
 man i loved and married is not a sexual person. i felt judged by his inhibitions and
 biases. little by little i began to smother that part of me. not his fault. we are
 happy, we have a good marriage. i allowed it to happen. as i smothered the sexual
 me, the rest of me went down too.

 later, when my affair began, i truly felt that i had found myself. looking through the
 eyes of my boyfriend, i felt ok. he never judged me in any way. he was so accepting of all of
 me. not just accepting, but so enthusiastic. i felt that he saw the real me,
 connected with the real me on a primal level. we needed each other for many
 reasons. neither of us ever wanted to leave our marriages. no happily ever afters.
 no ILYs. (responding to whoever said i professed to be so in love with my boyfriend, i
 never have said that. i defined our affair as friendship with perks. i care about him,
 he has a special place in my heart and an important place in my life. but love? no.)

 by living the affair, and continuing to post on the boards, i learned and grew. i felt
 like i was finally gaining some order to the chaos i felt inside.

 when the affair began, i would ask myself, am i better off with my husband or without. i always
 said WITH. as time went on, i could no longer answer that question. for months i
 struggled. not because of the affair, because of my own turmoil. just what did i want
 in this life? could i see forever anymore? the happily ever after part of my marriage
 had disappeared.

 which brings me to this forum. i love this place. the people here are diverse. and
 normally very non-judgmental. that is why i stayed. i posted for months under a
different name. when i thought someone from real life was lurking, i stopped posting for
 a while, then got a new handle, sweet-angel. i tried to let people know. i think most
 of ya did. i started posting again, but not often. still afraid of my RL lurker. lol.

 this pretty much brings us up to the last few weeks. around this time, i began to
 correspond with Jack. over the months of reading each and every post by each one of
 you, somehow his words touched me. maybe i could tell he was in chaos just like
 me. (for different reasons? maybe.) as we got to know each other, things clicked.
 we both have many unconventional ideas about the world, and yet we see the valid
 points of convention. it is hard to explain. it is part of being aquarius. lol. he was
 the voice of reason to me. he saw answers where i hadn't asked the question yet.
 and yes, there was lots of flirting going on too.

 two weeks ago, i felt at such a crossroads in my life. i wanted to put a stop to the
 chaos. my affair was coming to its natural end. my marriage seemed to be on the
 upswing. but more introspection was needed. and maybe a little more drama? i felt
 like i was standing on a cliff. jump or fly? the future was uncertain. i was all keyed
 up inside, like a whirlwind.

 now the whirlwind had the opportunity to meet the voice of reason. what to do?
 JUMP!

Jack and i spent some time together. y'all have heard all about that. <sic> Jack wrote
 from a particular angle. kind of a sexual male fantasy thing. when i read it, i could
 see his angle. i knew it wasn't the whole picture. he posted it with my permission,
 but left my name out of it in case i didn't like it. i didn't expect to set off a bunch of
 wild fire flames. geez. what happened to my old non-judging board???? anyway, the
 experience was special and amazing. that is all i will say about it. enough has been
 said.

 at this point i want to say something to everyone:

 to all of you, everyone had something valid to say. to those who tried to come to a
 much needed defense, thank you. i know you meant well. to those of you who GET
 it, thank you. if you have gotten anything positive from the whole thing---
 something to think about, a good laugh, or a good orgasm (lol)--- that makes me
 happy. that is the whole point of the board. to share and learn.

 btw, i believed the original post from bigbobbo in texas was a joke from a regular.
 (hmmmmm, who could that have been? lol) i responded in kind, jokingly. man.
 attacked again. geez. momma always said, if ya cant think of something nice to
 say, don't say anything. i will leave it at that!!!!!!

 back to me. it is MY story! lol.

 i am back on the main road in my journey of life. the affair is over. the fling was sort
 of a grand finale. everything in the last year has helped me grow, get back to
 myself, back to my marriage.....

 i feel a peace now that i haven't felt in so long. i can see the future in my marriage
 again. the happily ever after is back! now i know what i didn't know early in the
 marriage. life is a journey. uphill. lol. my life with my husband is the main road. i
 had some detours. i am back on the highway.

 if this has helped anyone along the way, i am so glad. all of you are on journeys
 too. and posting your stories for me to learn from has been my sanity and my
 salvation. thank you!

 this was long, maybe i should have written a book. lol.

 ::smile::
 ((((((HUGS for all of you))))))

 sweet-angel

(2013 - Actually, her affair with her boyfriend didn't end.  Either did ours.  And true to her fear, we fell in love with each other.  I flew out every few months for the next couple of years.  For a few days at a time we would create an "unreal" world for ourselves, what I call fuck storms.  She once came 119 times in about four and a half hours, yelling out the count.  I think it was nine for me.

And there were others she fell in love with.  We even had a threesome with her boyfriend at one point.  He's a cool guy and was as comfortable sharing, as I am. As you can see, Sweet Angel is one intensely sexual person.  And like me, she doesn't fall out of love easily. But after a couple of years we started to become more of a threat to her marriage, even more than her boyfriend was.  And I promised I wouldn't let that happen.

You see, to her credit, she still loves her husband, and has found accommodation that works for her. So we cooled it, but remain in a very romantic space and still communicate by web and phone.  She's even Skyped web-cam sex with her boyfriend once for my benefit.  Yes, he's still in her life, and in her cunt.  I envy him. But yes, I celebrate ALL of the joy she can find.  We exchanged emails just last week. She'd doing well.

Having just re-read this story, it says a lot about why people cheat.  Sweet Angel is an excellent example of a supplemental affair as opposed to an exit affair.  If you're careful they can go on for years, or in this case, more than a decade.  Will she get busted next week?  Will it change anything if it happens?  I doubt it.  She has given more than most can imagine to her marriage, but she has a better idea of who she is now, and I think would live out her nature publicly if that happened - own it, what ever form it took.  But that's just a guess.  It will always remain her choices to make.  I promised not to temp her (too much).

She knows about my book.  And she knows about this blog.  Who knows, she may chime in here at any time.  I'd love to see her comments on these last few paragraphs.  Finally, the story seems as hot to me as when I lived it.  It brings to mind all the other days we spent together.  I still miss her smell.  I still miss feeling her come over and over rubbing against the base of my cock the way she does.

Let me know what you think. - Jack)

Filipino Shared Wife

Here's a post that has the ring of truth.  And she tells her story well:

For a long time I wanted to write this down just to let people know how unpredictable life can be, especially when it comes to sex.  The photo is because I know you'd just ask if I didn't include it.  My name is Marie, and I am a Filipino/American.  I have been married to an American man named Dan for eight years now.

Both of my parents are Filipino. I was born in Manila, but my parents immigrated to the U.S. when I was only two. My dad worked as a software engineer for a company in Washington state, but we moved to Houston, in Texas when I was five.  That's where I grew up and went to school. Since I was educated here I do speak, read and write excellent English.  But because at home when I was growing up we also spoke both Spanish and one of the forms of native Filipino, I speak both of those languages very well too.

My upbringing was a bit strange, because it was a mixture of the more modern western world and more traditional Filipino values. In the world she grew up in, women were a lot more submissive, and in some ways actually subservient to all of their husband's needs, all of them. It's kind of hard to explain to people brought up in a western culture, and it was sometimes confusing to me since I was being brought up in that same western culture too, but pleasing my husband in any way he wishes has always been very important to me.

All in all I had a happy childhood and discovered many things about myself at an early age. We didn't have a very large family like a lot of Filipinos often do. I have only one brother and two younger sisters, so with the money my dad was making we had a nice house and we each had our own rooms. Well my brother and I did, but my two younger sisters shared a room until I moved out and went to college.

Because of that I had a lot of privacy, and I can remember paying with my own body, and masturbating as young as eleven or twelve years old. When I was thirteen there was this fourteen year old boy named Tommy who lived across the street from us. He was an only child, and both his parents worked. It was at his house that I first saw a penis.

Tommy and I secretly played show and tell which eventually included touching. I was absolutely fascinated with his hard young cock.  Although it would be a few more years before I'd learn their were other words for a penis, looking back, this was definitely a cock. The point was, it was more than simply another part of anatomy to me.  Seeing it all hard, and swollen did something to me.  I loved touching it, and especially loved making it squirt out it's stuff. Of course Tommy sure didn't complain about my fascination with his hard cock, or with me making it shoot.  Even before I was fourteen, he'd already talked me into putting it into my mouth.  And I loved the way it felt against my tongue even more than in my fingers.

Tommy's dad had quite a collection of soft porn like Playboy and Penthouse magazines, but he also had a lot of X-Rated hardcore books and magazines too. It was from looking at those pictures that Tommy convinced me that all women put a guy's dick in their mouths and sucked on it, and in turn he'd play with my hard little nipples and make them tingle.  And he'd put his finger inside my wet little pussy and that felt good too.

We never did fuck.  I think we were too scared to do that, but we did pretend to do it, with us both being naked and him laying on top of me and rubbing his hard cock against my wet pussy. I liked it when he'd shoot his stuff all over my belly.  Sometimes he'd even keep going until I climaxed too.

Tommy was the first boy I did things like that with, but later had other boyfriends I did stuff with, actually all through high school. I never did let Tommy cum in my mouth so I never swallowed his cum. That didn't happen until a couple of years later, and when I found a steady boyfriend named Ricky. For some reason I was still determined to remain a virgin until I got married, but I did just about anything else you could think of sexually with the boys I dated.  But in my senior year in high school I finally gave up on the whole remaining a virgin thing, I was just so madly in love with this boy named Jack and knew that after high school he would ask me to marry him.

The first time Jack and I ever fucked was in the back seat of his old Ford Bronco. He did wear a condom, and even tough I'd sucked him off and swallowed his cum before we did it, he still came pretty fast and it was over before I even knew it. We did it a second time that first night, but he didn't last a whole lot longer then either.

The odd thing was, from the very first time I started fooling around with Tommy when I was thirteen, until I finally let Jack fuck me when I was seventeen, I'd been with six different boys and done something sexual with all of them, but not one of them had ever gone down on me. That didn't happen until I was in college and a boy finally did it to me on our very first date. He was actually pretty good at doing it, and it made me realize there was a lot more to sex that should feel good to me too.

I really did get off on getting guys off, that much was for sure, but the one guy I dated for a while in college also taught me that sex should make me feel really good too. Just to be clear about things though, my college days weren't all just filled with my quest to have sex. I studied and worked hard and graduated, and eventually got my degree in elementary education so I could become a grade school teacher. I always wanted to teach, but I wouldn't have taught kids any older than elementary school, because of my height. I could just not see myself being an authority figure at only four-foot eleven inches tall.

I was out of college, and had been teaching for about two years when some mutual friends first introduced me to my future husband Dan. With all I'd been though and done sexually, it kind of surprised me that Dan didn't try anything more than kissing me for almost the first month we were dating. In some ways it did flatter me, because I felt like it meant he respected me.  But in other ways I began to wonder if maybe there was something wrong with me, or something he just didn't like enough about me to want to have sex with me.

Even with all the boys I'd fooled around with growing up, I'd never been aggressive sexually.  I'd always let them take the lead, and guide me into the things they wanted from me sexually.  With Dan though I was already beginning to have deep feelings for him.  In a little over a month I was falling in love with him, but he still hadn't done anything more than some gentle kissing. Then another few weeks and several more dates when by, and I finally reached the point where I had to know something. He'd even said he loved me by this time too, and yet we'd still done nothing more than kissing. I did have my own apartment so one night I invited him over, telling him I wanted to fix him a traditional dinner from my native country.

Dinner wasn't really what I had on my mind for that evening though, and I knew Dan would be very surprised when I greeted him at my door wearing nothing but I sexy little nightie. He was definitely surprised, but he also seemed very nervous when I let him in and handed him a drink. I wanted to take him straight back into my bedroom and get him naked, but Dan insisted on going over and sitting on my couch in the living room.

I was very confused, because all the guys I'd ever been with would have grabbed me, and dragged me back into my bedroom if I'd greeted the at the front door in this tiny little nightie. Dan sat on my couch sipping his drink and looking nervous, and since he is also four years older than me, the way he was acting puzzled me even more. He hadn't even said so much as a single word about me or my nightie or the fact he could see my entire naked body though it, and now I really was beginning to think there must be something wrong with me.  I said nothing and took my drink and sat down beside him. We both sat there quietly.

The suspense of not knowing was too much for me so I stood up right in front of him, and I ask him what it would take to get him to do more than just kiss me? It surprised me again that Dan still looked more nervous than surprised. He suddenly stood up, grabbed my hand and walked me back into my bedroom.

At first all he did was hold me out at arm's length and look my body up and down. He then pulled me up to him and told me he loved me and he kissed me.  But then he pushed me back until I was sitting on the edge of my bed.

At that point he looked down at me and told me he was going to show me why he'd been so hesitant, so slow in doing anything more with me. I watched as he kicked off his shoes and then leaned over and pulled off his socks. I watched as he lifted his shirt off over his head and undid his own pants. He then hooked his thumbs in both his pants and underwear and at the same time as he yanked them down his legs and leaned over to slip the off. When he stood back up he was naked, and his hard cock was sticking perfectly straight out in front of him. He hadn't said a word as he dropped his pants.  He didn't need to.  For a few seconds I sat there saying nothing either, and staring at his hard cock. It was easy to see he was already fully erect, but his cock couldn't have been any more than three inches long! It was kind of fat, big around, but it was the shortest I'd ever seen including Tommy's when he was fourteen, the first cock I ever saw.

I knew it had taken him a lot of guts to do what he'd just done.  I do understand how most men seem to take a lot of pride in their hard cocks, though I think most people make too much of size. I don't have a cock of course, I've got a pussy, but it's not like I treat it like some trophy or something, not the way some men treat their cock like it's some kind of special prize.

I'd been with enough men to know that Dan's cock was not just small, it was very small, but that just demonstrated even more the courage it had taken him to get naked like that.  It made me feel even more in love with him than before.  Right away I reached out, and caressed his balls, and then his small hard cock.  I looked up at him and told him that if his concern was about size, he didn't need to worry, because I thought his hard cock was beautiful. He started to speak but I cut him off by leaning over and taking him in my mouth.  We both were quiet as I began to lick and suck.  We had a wonderful evening.

This next part of my story I'll make short, because it is just more fact than anything else anyway. The first time I sucked him, Dan came in my mouth in less than three minutes, well, maybe two. After that he got me naked too, and we fooled around on my bed until I wanted him to fuck me. The first time we did that didn't last very long either, and since it was his second orgasm in a row, his cock went completely soft after he came inside me. We did fool around me, and it surprised me a great deal that he not only went down on me and licked me to an orgasm, but that he did it after he'd cum inside me. It had taken me until college before any guy had licked my pussy period, but since then not one guy I dated or had sex with, had ever licked my pussy after cumming in me. That was the only way I orgasmed that night anyway, and after that night Dan and I did finally begin having sex regularly. His ability to last when I was sucking him did improve a little. It still wasn't half as long as any guy I'd ever sucked off before though.  As far as actually fucking went, well that really did't improve at all, and even with time he could still only last a very few minutes once he was inside me.

I never, ever complained though, and since he could get me off in other ways, I felt like he was very satisfied with our sex life. When the time came for him to ask me to marry him I never hesitated to say yes. Our sex life was adequate I felt, and I kept telling myself it and he would get better with time! Besides, I wasn't marrying a man because of the size of his cock, or how good he was in bed. I was marrying him because he was a wonderful man who loved me, and I loved him just as much!

The first couple years of our married life outside of the bedroom was more than any girl or woman could dream of.  I should have been the happiest woman in earth. I was at first, but then it was like something was missing, and I wasn't willing to admit to myself what that something was. It also wasn't helping matters that Dan seemed constantly worried about whether or not I was happy sexually. I'm even ashamed to admit that at times I'd actually get angry with him for his constant worry, and I did my best not to show that anger. After two full years of being married my husband still couldn't last more than a very short few minutes in my mouth, and he couldn't last more than five minutes at the most inside my pussy. Not only that, but we both very much wanted to start a family, and it just seemed that no matter how often we did it, each month I would still get my monthly period. So I now had two things that were seeming to agitate me more and more. The first being our sex life itself, and the second being my inability to get pregnant. Without Dan knowing it, I'd even been to the doctor to get myself checked out. My doctor assured me there was nothing wrong with me, and that I should just be patient and eventually my husband should be able to get me pregnant.

By the time Dan and I were married for three years, and our sex life still hadn't improved, and I still wasn't pregnant either.  I was getting more and more frustrated each day, and then each week, and finally as each month went by. I still tried my best not to show it, but I think he knew in spite of my best efforts. It was also so ironic that outside of the bedroom, and outside of the sex, our life was nothing less than wonderful together. Then it was almost like God was mad at me or something, and he decided to pile even more bad things on top of the already bad when it came to sex. Suddenly, my husband began having erection problems, and I think we both knew it was caused by his worry over how happy I was sexually, as well as his inability to get me pregnant. I was as understanding as I could be about it, but I also knew most of it had to be in his head. I knew that, because he could and he did get hard when I played with his cock, and even when I sucked it, but it was like the instant he went to try and put it inside me, he would just suddenly go completely soft! Time, just give it time I kept telling myself and things have to work themselves out! The problem was that by then Dan was also beginning to withdraw from me, and even that was beginning to affect our life outside our bedroom.

Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought I'd ever cheat on my own husband with another man. I have learned since and over the years now, that it's always a bad idea to say the word never! I also think that sometimes when these things happen it's not just one or two things that lead up to them happening, or that set things up so they can happen. I think it's just a whole combination of things and of circumstances that at least contribute to them happening. I do think that even now, because if just one little thing would have been different when I did it, then it might not have ever happened at all!

The things that lead up to me first cheating on Dan, started with a gym teacher named Russell, who apparently had a real crush on me at the time. Russell was a very athletic, handsome kind of guy, and even though he was married too, he was constantly complimenting me, and flirting with me, and it was obvious he really liked me. I was also at this kind of peak in my life where I just felt Dan had kind of given up on me and on us, and add to that all the anger, and frustration I was also feeling. So that's all part of it, and I big part of it I know, but there were also other circumstances, that had only one or two of them been different, I might never have done what I did. The first was Dan being out of town on business, and the second was him having to be out of town over the weekend also. That was actually something unusual, but he'd had to stay where he was because one of his meetings had been delayed until that next Monday morning. The next set of circumstances that lead up to everything happening started with one of our assistant principles retiring, and me being one of the three people involved in planning her retirement party. We were having her retirement and going away party at this club, and of course Russell would be there too, along with most of the faculty and staff.

I danced with several of the male faculty member that night, but as the night wore on I found myself dancing with Russell more and more, and then eventually he was the only man I was dancing with. As it got even later and more and more of the people attending the going away party were leaving I knew my job as one of the hostesses of the party was finished, and I knew I could and should leave anytime I wanted, and yet I stayed anyway. I also knew that I damn sure didn't need those last two drinks Russell bought me, and I was already drunk enough so that I shouldn't be trying to drive home.

I honestly don't even remember what lead up to Russell walking me out to my car in the nearby parking garage, or why we ended up walking over to his SUV first? All I really remember was being there, and then him opening up one of the back door and me sliding in the back seat. I do remember him telling me we were just talking, and waiting for me to sober up a bit, but then we weren't talking, and we were kissing instead.

I was at that point of being drunk where I think I knew what I was doing, but it was just like I didn't care. If you know what I mean. Russell was a very good kisser, and he was very smooth in getting my dress unzipped, and then pulled down in front and even getting my bra undone. By the time he was alternating between kissing me, and then kissing my neck and back to kissing my lips again, and at the same time playing with my tits and hard nipples, I think any and all of my resistance was gone. I very clearly do remember kissing him again and then me even sliding my legs open as his hand slid up the inside of my thigh. AS his fingers slipped inside my panties next, and then he began sliding them though my wet pussy lips and over my hard clit, I was so very turned on already, but when when he whispered to me, telling me how wet I was right then, I got even more turned on.

I think even with all of this happening I could have stopped if I'd really wanted to, but then his hand disappeared from under my dress, and after a long minute or two of us still kissing, he must have unzipped himself and taken his hard cock out, because now he was guiding my hand over and laying it directly on top of it.

The instant I touched his hard cock I knew I wanted it inside me. He wasn't really big or anything, but even six inches was double the size of Dan. Russell didn't have to guide me to do anything after that. I leaned over all on my own to suck it, and I even finished getting his pants and underwear off of him. I ended up sucking him off, and swallowing his cum,and then I was on my back with him on top of me, and the instant I felt his hard cock sliding inside me of I was in blissful heaven!

Everything was happening so fast there wasn't even time to worry about a condom. Besides his bare hard cock sliding inside me just felt to good to worry about anything else really. At different points Russell was pumping his hard cock into me so fast, and so forcefully, that it was just wave after wave of pleasure shooting though me, and leading up to one very strong, and powerful orgasm. Then when Russell came inside me it was like I could feel his hard cock moving and jumping around deep inside me, an I could feel his orgasm and that triggered a second orgasm in me also!

After it was over he continued to lay on top of me, and I could hardly believe his cock was still hard, and he still had it inside me. We both agreed this should probably never happen again, but we both also agreed that since that was true, and since his cock was still hard and inside me after all, there was no harm in doing it at least once more before we never did it again. Probably doesn't make much sense, but for some reason it made perfectly good sense to the two of us laying there naked in the back seat of his SUV right then. So we fucked a second time, and it was actually even better than the first. I came twice more again, and he came deep inside me for a second time in a row. After that we did finally get up, clean up as best we could and got dressed. That was when he told me his wife and kids were going cross town to see her mother the next day, and he invited me over to see him. At first I told him no way, but I finally gave in to a maybe, and he even gave me his address, and drew a small map on how to get there on the back of a grocery receipt we found on the back floorboard of his SUV.

I wasn't going to go over and see him, and then when I finally decided I was, I just kept telling myself it was so we could talk and straight this whole mess out before it went to far. I'll spare you the details of us hardly talking at all after I got to his house, but instead I will tell you that we ended up naked and in his wife's bed.  He fucked me for two hours hours straight. Of course not two hours in one fuck, but during those two hours we spent in bed together, we fucked three times, and he came inside me three times, and I climaxed no less than four times myself. I left his home that afternoon before his wife and children got back, and I was torn in so many directions about how I was feeling. I was ashamed I'd done it, and yet for the first time in a very long time I felt more sexually satisfied than ever before! My pussy even had a very pleasant ache to it, and every time I touched it, it just tingled with pleasure. I knew I'd probably never openly admit it to myself, but I also knew all that man had to do was touch me, and my mouth and my pussy were his!

We carried on our affair. Sometimes meeting for lunch for a quick blow job or even a quick fuck. Sometimes we'd meet at night in some strip center or big retail parking lot and fuck in the back of his SUV. Sometimes we'd have time to even get a motel room and fuck there, but the point is that the affair had gone on for very nearly three months by then.

The odd thing was the positive affect it was also having on my sex life with my husband. It was like the pressure was off on him to preform for me, and even though he didn't know that or why, it was making our time together in our own bedroom that much better, Dan still couldn't last very long either when I sucked him or when he fucked me, but he was getting his erections back again, and I really didn't care if I got much actual pleasure out of our fucking, because I always had Russell's hard cock to keep me and my pussy well taken care of.

At a little over three months into our affair I missed my period. Though all of this Russell had never worn protection, and I'd never asked him to because his bare cock cumming in me had just felt so good. I knew even before I took the home pregnancy test, or went to my doctor to confirm the fact I was indeed pregnant. I knew it, but then the doctor even seemed proud, as he gave me one of those I told you so talks, and all because he of course thought it was my husband who'd gotten me pregnant.

As far as my own feelings went, I was both elated, happy and terrified all that the same time. I was overjoyed I was finally pregnant, and yet terrified I would now have to lie to Dan about it and our child for the rest of our lives. Russell didn't share my joy when I told him, and he was so relieved that I was ending our affair, and not including him in any of my problems. I also knew at my size I'd have very little time before it would be too late to tell Dan, and he'd know anyway.  As ironic as even I know it sounds, our forth wedding anniversary was that very next weekend, and that's when I planned on telling Dan I was pregnant.

I knew Dan had booked us a nice hotel room for the weekend, and we had a nice dinner out that night.  We then went for a few drinks and a little dancing, before heading back to our hotel room. We were then in bed and just beginning to fool around, when I told him we needed to stop for a minute, because I had some good news to tell him.

By this time I'd already made up my mind to continue my lie, and never tell him about my affair with Russell, or who the real father of our baby probably was. I was still holding onto Dan's hard cock as I told him my news about being pregnant, but it was his reaction to my news that both puzzled and shocked me.

At first all he did was lay there quietly, and not saying a word or making a sound. I would have thought that after all this time, and for a long as we'd both been praying I'd get pregnant, that he would be jumping for joy at my news. So the fact all he did was lay there so silently and not moving or making even a peep of a sound, really did surprise and puzzle me. I finally had to say to him that I didn't understand why he wasn't overjoyed and acting happy, and that's when he looked right into my eyes, and he asked me who I'd been fucking?

Talk about feeling like someone had just smacked you square in between your eyes with a two-by-four board, at first all I could do was stutter, and nothing coming out of my mouth right then made any sense anyway! Dan just seemed to cool, so calm, and so collected as he lay there, and it was so strange that his cock was still hard, and he hadn't taken my hand off of it yet! Not really knowing what else to say right then, I repeated his question substituting "I" for his saying "you".

I then asked him why he would even think such a thing, and that was about to become the last thing I probably should have asked him right then, because his answer to that surprised me even more than his non-reaction to the news I was pregnant.

Once again he very calmly looked me right in my eyes as he told me it was because of his own doctor visits I knew nothing about, and because of all the tests he'd taken, he knew beyond any doubt that HE couldn't get me pregnant!

Feeling pretty much in complete panic right then I let go of his hard cock, and I tried telling him that whatever tests he taken had to be wrong! I tried to tell him I was sure it was his baby, even though I'd yet to answer his original question of who I'd been fucking.  I also hadn't tried to deny it either.

At that point my husband reached out and pulled me up next to him. He then confused me even more as he kissed me, and told me no matter what he still loved me very, very much. That's when he also kissed me briefly and then sat straight up in bed, and I'll never forget everything he said to me next.

He began by telling me to just lay there quietly and not say a word until he told me he was finished speaking. I had no problem doing that, because right then I was too terrified to speak anyway! He then began by telling me that after all that time trying to get me pregnant, and nothing happening, he'd gone behind my back to a doctor, and they'd done several tests on him. I didn't understand all the medical stuff he told me, but the bottom line was that his sperm count was so low, that it was like only a one in one thousand chance he could even come close to getting me pregnant.

That wasn't all though.  He definitely noticed a change in my personality, and in me, and he'd also definitely noticed the change in our sex life. At that point I was already beginning to cry in shame, but then he goes on to tell me how he's known for some time that I was fucking someone besides him, but he'd just been too afraid to tell me he knew. I was now openly crying as he was saying all this to me, but then came the biggest shocker of the entire night - he told me that the biggest reason he'd been afraid to talk to me about it was that it was something that turned him on, and he couldn't start to explain why. At that point he stopped talking, but only after he then asked me again who I'd been fucking.

I knew it wasn't good for the small, but growing baby inside my tummy, and I knew it probably wasn't a great thing to do right then, but I got out of bed anyway, and walked over to the dresser, where we had several bottles of alcohol sitting there in case we wanted something to drink. I really don't even know what bottle I picked up, but whatever it was, it was strong, and I literally took two or three big gulps and swallowed it down! Almost immediately the alcohol burned my throat as it went down, but just as quickly my head began to swim, and a feeling of warmth spread through my whole body. I could hear Dan telling me to stop, and that I didn't need to do that, but I tipped the bottle up and took two more big gulps before setting it back down!

It almost felt like a freight train hitting me so quickly, and I stumbled back to the bed and then got back in bed with him. Tears were just rolling down my face as I called myself a tramp and a slut, and then I began to confess to him the entire affair, and I did it from start to finish. When I was done speaking Dan just looked at me, and then he took my hand and he guided it to his small cock,and it was HARD!

He looked at me, and told me that from this moment on neither of us were going to lie to the other one ever again. He then told me I was going to tell him everything, and he'd do the same with me. I looked at him rather blankly when he said that, and that was only because I thought that's what I'd just done! I'd told him everything that had happened, and even going back as far as me dancing with Russell even before we fucked in the back of his SUV. So I really was confused about what he was saying to me right then.

His hand slid down over mine, and he started making my hand slide up and down is hard cock. He could tell I was confused by what he'd said, and then me telling him I I'd just confessed everything.

It was so strange hearing the change in the tone of his voice as it went from normal sounding to me, to an almost soft sexy whisper. He then told me that all I'd really told him so far was a basic outline of things, and that what he wanted to know, and then he changed that to what he needed to know, was the details.

Now I was really confused, and then even more so when he had us both lay down again, and as he started speaking he wanted me to keep playing with his hard cock, and he even started to play with my hard nipples. As he spoke his voice was low and sexy sounding, and he told me again that although he didn't know why, just the thought of me having sex with this other men really turned him on!

I still didn't know exactly what to say to him next, because I still really didn't know what he was asking of me. Dan could tell, and so he started the next conversation himself.

His first question, and the very first thing he said he needed to know, was how big of a cock did Russell have? I was stunned he'd even ask me that, much less that he seemed to really do need to know! I even looked at him and said Dan, are you sure?

He kissed me, and whispered yes, so I was just kind of like OK, and what the hell. I looked at him and at first all I'd say was that Russell's cock was bigger than his.

"How much bigger?" was his next question. When I hesitated, his hand slid back down over mine, and he told me that I had to be able to feel how turned on he was right then. He then ask me again and he told me to be specific.

That's when I finally told him Russell's hard cock was twice as long as his, but only a little bigger around. I swear to God I felt my husband's hard cock give a jerk in my hand as I said it, and he even let out a small soft moan!

For the next half hour at least we played a game of question and answer.  Even before the end of that half hour I was convinced my husband was telling the truth, and that for whatever reason my cheating on him with Russell really did turn him on! Just a sample of some of the Q&S went something like this:

Number One, how big was Russell's hard cock, and I eventually told him.

Two, did the difference in his size make a difference in my pleasure? I confessed yes it did.

Three, did I suck him? Yes

Four, did he cum in my mouth? And if so, did I swallow? Yes and yes again.

Five, he very obviously came inside me, but did he do it every time, or did he wear protection. Yes, he did it every time we fucked.

Six, why did I keep going back if I knew it was wrong?

This one took me a couple of minutes to answer, and when Dan wasn't satisfied with my first couple of answers, the truth finally did come out! Of course that truth was because I loved fucking him, and he made me climax several times every time we did it.

Seven, eight, nine, ten, and so on. The question kept coming at me, and slowly, very slowly my answers not only came easier, but they did become a lot more detailed, and I knew they were turning my husband on a great deal.

We finally did hit a point where we'd pretty much exhausted all of the important questions, and that's when I took Dan's cock in my mouth, and he almost instantly climaxed and filled my mouth with his hot cum! He then wanted to fuck me, and even though he came in me rather quickly then too, as long as I kept on talking about Russell and his hard cock, and as long as I told him as much nasty stuff as I could think of that we did, my husband's cock stayed hard inside me and he kept right on fucking me. He still wasn't big enough to get me off that way, but with a little help from my own fingers, I was able to climax a couple of times myself, and both times he was still hard and his cock was still inside me.

Dan and I had an entire weekend to talk, fuck, talk, suck, talk, lick, talk and fuck some more. That weekend was also the first weekend I ever let him put his hard cock in my ass. I knew it was something he'd been wanting to do for a very long time, but I'd never done it or let him do it that is.

That weekend though, and more than ever before in our marriage I felt I owed him anything he wanted, or anything he wanted to do to me or have me do to him. I knew so many men, and so many husbands would have thrown a cheating wife like me right out of their lives, and especially one who was carrying a baby made inside her with another man's sperm. I was just so grateful the situation had turned out nothing like I might have ever predicted.

So yes, I was willing to let Dan do anything he wanted to me, and I was willing to do anything he wanted me to do to him. Along with the anal sex I also found out another little secret he'd been hiding, and as I lay there in my stomach with my ass in the air, and he knelt behind me licking it, I discovered that I loved the feeling of his secret very much! Another thing we both discovered that weekend, and that Dan had also been hiding from me for a very long time, was the fact that I might enjoy being submissive to other men, but dominant over him in our sex life, and I actually enjoyed doing it!

We didn't have to check out of the hotel until eleven on Sunday, but we went ahead and paid for another night anyway, and just so we could continue to stay in bed together, and continue to explore and talk about a new lifestyle.

It might seem like such a short period of time to work so many things out, but between the time we were in bed together on Friday night, until we finally did check out very, very early on Monday morning, neither Dan nor I got more than probably twelve hours sleep combined. I know it sounds so quick, and so, well almost impossible we'd work pretty much everything out by the time we were on our way home to shower, change clothes and each go to work on Monday morning, but all that almost non-stop sex AND non-stop talking, and I really was well on my way to becoming a slut, shared wife, while he was on his way to becoming my wonderful, loving, and sexually submissive husband! We both agreed my affair with Russell was over, but by the end of that weekend we'd both agreed to find someone else as my lover. Only this time we'd be sharing the entire experience together and with no hidden secrets.

Keeping it Fresh

Here's a question and answer I posted from a cheating wife site I've frequented.  It's very much on topic:

> Do you think it is possible to keep EMR (Extra Marital Relationship)-like sex in a long-term marriage?













Good question. As a matter of fact, Tom Robbins said it was THE question - "How to Make Love Stay".

And surprisingly, it has several good answers.  After years on this board I decided most relationships have a life cycle, including a date stamp.  But if you're careful to not leave the milk out too long, you can keep things fresh well after the date stamp.  That's what relationship self-help is all about.  But let's face it, sooner or later the mind becomes desensitized to the same smile, the same tits, and yes even the same vagina or cock.  It's how we manage when that happens that makes all the difference.

When you meet someone new you first notice their quirks.  In the beginning these quirks are cute and even become cues to arousal.  Later they will become the things you resent - the sharp edges.  These quirks will be the very things you miss when the relationship is over.  But I'm getting off topic.

Jack Morin wrote a book called the Erotic Mind in which he showed that the best sex happens when there is attraction (chemistry) and also a foil (something stopping you from getting together).  That is one of the main reasons EMR sex is often so hot.  You have a constant factor trying to keep you apart, AND few responsibilities.  More details here:

http://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Mind-Unlocking-Sources-Fulfillment/dp/0060984287

So how do you keep sex fresh in the context of a marriage?  Don't take anything for granted.  Don't stop competing for their attention.  In other words, keep courting.  Unfortunately this is contrary to the whole concept of marriage, well unless you're polyamorus, which is another approach to explore.

But the quick and simple answer is to drag out the honeymoon as long as possible, and there are lots of tricks to do this.  Many of them I describe in "How to Make Love Die" (warning - lots of erotic description):

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss/184-9186586-8284753?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=%22how+to+make+love+die%22

It starts with no expectations - not an easy challenge.  Then think of your relationship like zero-based budgeting.  That's pretty much what you do in an EMR after all.  Finally, seek the good parts, those things you enjoy most, then provide a good place for those parts to prosper.

Sex is like a bull and a butterfly all in one.

Have a care in how you treat them.

Jack

Does Realtouch Reflect It's Name?

It was bound to happen.  Women have had the vibrator for over a hundred years, and in the last 20 have gained true fucking machines as well.  Now it's the men's turn to discover a truly animated fake vagina.

OK, so it looks like a cross between an old-fashioned washing machine ringer and a laminator.  What does that matter if it works?  And apparently it does, at least according to this adventurous writer from Gizmag.

Here is his well written and humorous review:

Realtouch USB pleasure device brings porn into the 4th dimension (Part 1)

And his song is a brilliant touch - don't miss it:

Sweet Jean

Source to buy YOURS:


RealTouch Interactive

OK, enough laughing.  This is a serious fuck machine.  And it's far more than a fake vagina, it may be the key to truly virtual sex.  Notice the magic dildo the model playa with?  This is the other end of a very important link.  Sex is in our minds but it also has a physical side.  Using this device it's easy to see how one might have virtual sex with almost anyone, anywhere at any time - and that's a powerful form of communication.

I haven't ordered mine yet but I expect to see a lot of interesting feedback on this topic from the web.  I'll keep you posted.

And if you get one, let me know how it works out.

I'll post a link to part 2 of the review when it's available.  :)

Average Guy

Another good one:

Average guy here. Retired Marine, now working to provide for my child and future. Doing the right thing day by day. sometimes I get lucky.

Approximately 3 months ago while having a much needed brew with some of my guy buds at a local sports bar - one of my buds invited a guy -"Kenny" I knew from my church. Yep, I go to church with Kenny and his wife. He is younger but fit into our group well. 

Kenny is married to Joy. I really don't know them that well. Our church is large, but I do remember when they got married and I do see them in passing. Joy is skinny. Let me restate - she's thin, with blondish brown hair that is cut to frame her face and gorgeous blue eyes. Joy's not the gorgeous type, more of the skinny nerdy kid who grows into her beauty. She tends to dress fairly conservatively and definitely doesn't put herself out as super sexual. She seems almost shy, but has a nice lean shape.

Almost 2 months ago, about a month after the meeting - Kenny help me move some basketball goals at the church gym. I noted he made some funny comments about how some of the "older" women at church thought I was "hot". 

I told him I wasn't aware why they would be talking of me. Damn, gotta be kidding. But, this opened the door to talk about women and sex and the usual guy crap.

Time goes on - I ride in a Mardi Gras organization in a city near where I live. Sure enough on Joe Cain day we are loading the float that is owned by my friend and here comes Kenny and Joy. They are riding as well. Mardi Gras is a big parade and party. The parade went well with lots of drink and revelry. Sadly, or gladly, we had a short rain shower at the end of the parade - all got soaked. 

During the unload time Kenny invited me to their hotel room to get dry and wait out the traffic jam. Joy wanted a garter and pair of the Mardi Gras panties that I had been throwing to the crowd. I accepted and brought them along.  Joy went ahead to get out of the rain, Kenny helped me stow my gear and we got a few drinks to take back. On the way he was really asking me what I thought about Joy. It was kind of strange. 

At the hotel, Joy had already showered and was dressed in her "pajamas" which consisted of some sweat pant looking things and a t-shirt. She was bundled in a small blanket sitting on a lounge chair. 

Kenny went to the bathroom to pee and I heard the shower running. Joy said "he's cold and you're wet.  She handed me her towel and I dried off the best I could. 

Kenny got out of the shower and Joy said, "your turn". I told her I didn't have clothes to put on and she said just wrap up in her throw until my clothes got a little drier. 

Ok, I'm freezing and wet and it sounded good. I showered and came out in the blanket.  Joy was on the bed, Kenny by the window.  She says something about, "to bad she didn't get a sneak peek of me in the shower." 

Kenny's smiling and asks her if she's really that curious. I'm oblivious and try to be cool, not wanting to start them fighting.

But Kenny is summoned with a gesture and a pout.  He slowly comes to the side of the bed and hugs her.  She takes his pants down. He's standing there with his mouth open almost laughing.

Kenny is a normal size guy in general, but he's small there. I mean small cock. Joy looks at me and says come over and let me get my sneak peek now. 

I walk... stunned... to the bed and allow the blanket to part. Joy is sitting at eye level with us both standing at the end of the bed. 

I hear her exclaim "Oh dear God"! Kenny is hard and ..me, Captain Stunned is not.  But the difference in size is very very noticeable.  I'm not huge in any sense of the word, maybe six or seven inches.  But, Joy must not be use to seeing normal size men.  It is like she is amazed and immediately seems to snap to attention. One hand on Kenny and now the other on me. I am moving to hardness. 

She's exclaiming,"Oh God", it's big and shaved. I think Kenny is a bit uneasy,  but, I'm not backing down or giving up at this point. 

Her hands move to me. She's completely ignoring him. Now she's talking to him about me. Damn. One hand running up my stomach and down my leg telling him how she loves my muscular build and then back to my cock and telling him how it's still growing. The uneasy feeling continues.  I keep my eye on Kenny.  He keeps his eye on my cock and what her hands are doing.

It seemed a long time, but I'm sure it was only a few minutes that we were standing there like this. The blanket had hit the ground, I was nude and vulnerable but definitely in control. Confusing. 

Joy kept talking and I was enjoying her one-sided discussion. A drop of pre-cum exposed itself and she exclaimed how "I was Juicy".  Then she said, "I want to see it shoot."  She got busy with both hands. All this time I think she's talking to Kenny, or maybe herself. But she tells him to sit down on the chair and watch. It surprised me, but that's exactly what he did.

I told her if she wanted to see me cum she needed to show me something. I was the only one nude. She didn't resist as I pulled her t-shirt over her head, wet hair spilling over her face and exposing her breasts. They are small but surprisingly well defined. Her cup size has to be an "A" and her areolas are half dollar size and a bit puffy and pink. They felt wonderful in my hand. She was working my cock nicely in hers. 

Joy was using both hands when I next pulled her to her feet and slipped her blue sweat pants down her slim hips. She had a lot of dark pubic hair for a blond, and it was framed by beautiful long legs. She then laid back on her back as my hands explore her, as she reached again for my cock. I pulled her leg to the side and her pussy was revealed bright pink splitting apart the dark hair still wet from the shower and getting wetter all the time.

I feel much more comfortable.  Kenny hasn't moved.  It's like he is transfixed. I start allowing myself to ease into the moment and ease my finger into her.  I also start talking dirty to them both, telling her how good her hands feel on my cock, but loud enough for him to hear.  I'm asking her if she liked it, telling her how good her tits and pussy felt, and telling her how she loved that big shaved cock. 

I moved up along the bed to her head and supported her head with my hand. I turned her head to me and Kenny said, "she doesn't do that", meaning she doesn't suck cock. 

I look at her and told her, "If she wants this cock she does."

I coaxed my cock against her lips.  She opened her mouth and I pushed in slowly. Kenny exhaled as he watched his wife take me into her mouth. She turned on her side all the way toward me and took me in deep. 

I was still trash talking saying "You love sucking that cock don't you". "You love sucking that big thick shaved cock", until, I heard her whisper, "yes". I made her say it louder so Kenny could hear. I started working on her inner thighs and moved to her pussy again. I found her clit and started gently rub her in a figure eight pattern. 

"Oh dear God," Joy said, "He knows right where to touch". I am looking at how pretty she is when she looks up at me with those beautiful blue eyes and my cock in her mouth. 

"You want to feel that cock on your pussy don't you", I said, not asking a question. 

"Oh God Yes", Joy answered anyway. I spin her around and open her legs to me. 

Kenny seems uneasy, almost rising from his chair, but he stops. 

I tell her I'm gonna rub my cock head over her clit. 

Kenny says don't fuck her, but is afraid to break the moment. 

He's ignored by both of us.  I am guiding my cock over her cunt on the outside. I fit in the length of her wet pussy like a hot dog in a bun. Her hands move to press me against her as her hips start to move slowly creating pressure. 

I'm talking, "You love that cock don't you?", "You love feeling that big shaved cock." 

Joy almost grunts her answer..louder I tell her and she almost yells, "Oh God yes, yes, I love that big shaved cock". 

Kenny again exhales, but then relaxes a bit.  Staying on the outside is OK.

Joy's pace and hip action increases. She's now pushing off her shoulders and working her pussy up and down my cock. I feel her push it's head down and into her. 

I resist, pulling back and out. 

She works harder to get my cock into her. 

Again I resist. Joy says, "Dammit give it to me!", and with a buck and a push she manages to get my cock lined up again and its head in her. I'm still resisting. 

Kenny says, "Don't."  

I tell her, "Tell him, tell him what you want."

Joy blurts, "I want it in me!" 

She says she cant help it, and then I hear her say "Sorry, but God I want it so bad." 

Kenny looks like he's gonna stand. I guess I was carried away but I said, "SIT DOWN!".  And I said it forcefully.  After all I was in a very compromised position and didn't want her to stop.

Kenny sat down, but didn't take his eyes away.  Joy kept working my cock in deeper.

I was half-way watching Kenny and turned to face Joy. She pulled herself up by wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me down on the bed completely. I felt her open to me as my cock slid up and in her just a bit more. 

Now she was talking, "Dont tease me. Give it to me." Give me that big dick." 

She pulled me to her and damn... kissed me fully... forcefully... passionately. Holding me and breathing into my ear letting me feel the pain of her need for my cock. 

Caught totally off guard again, I gathered myself, stole another glimpse at Kenny who was now jacking himself off.  I pulled up and pushed into her all the way. Believe me, skinny girls got action. Joy bucked against me. I told her I was fully in her. I heard Kenny groan at the words.

"Tell him how it feels", I directed her. 

Joy, rasped how full it made her feel, and continued her pressure and bucking.

She pulled my face down to her and it felt like she achieved pulling herself off the bed and up against me as I pulled back on my knees.  Then I pressed my cock into her again fucking her in quick jabs. 

Face to face Joy pushed back and said, "Oh God...Oh dear God", over and over.  She released herself from me and collapsed.  Then she was totally smiling and crying at the same time. 

I guess I looked bewildered.  She kissed me passionately and told me, and Kenny, it was the first time she ever came "like that", still confused with the crying and laughing, I was in a daze.

I hadn't cum yet. I still couldn't can't get a read on Kenny. He was sullen and silent. He was still hard but had cum all over himself. I pull out and Joy smiled. 

I start to stroke my cock and I can feel how wet she has made me. I am coated in her juices. She's still smiling so I turn her small hips over. She's on her knees and I think she believes I'm gonna stroke and cum on her back. Her small ass is well formed. Her legs are long and her pussy is wet and bright, and pink. I stroke myself and she watches by turning her head back.

I felt Joy's hand slips between her legs and caresses my balls while I stroke away. This tends to pull me to closer to her cunt. I am almost cumming between her ass-cheeks sliding against her all the way up and down.  Then, right before I begin to shoot, I shove my cock all the way into her cunt. 

Before she can do anything, I have my hands on her hips.  I pull her back into me hard. I can feel her tense up, but then relax and take me in. I pump a few more times and push her head back down on the bed, and pull her ass up to my cock. I arch and empty my cum in her. 

Again, I feel her hands go back and gently caress my balls and her fingers push under them. 

Joy says "Oh God, I want all of your cum in me." 

I am breathless and fall to the side.  I see my cum start to run out of her.  So does Kenny.  He stares, unblinking with his mouth opened.  It's like he can't look away.

Joy notices the quiet and spins her head toward Kenny.

She says one word, "Juicy?" 

She coaxes him with a smile, and by wiggling her ass.  She finally gets him to stand up and pump himself into her as I was doing moments before.

While they are busy, I slip into my wet clothing. I still think Kenny is somewhere between surprised and sullen. I slip to the door and say my thanks as they collapse on the bed. 

Kenny's silent, but Joy says for me to stay. I smile, excuse myself and allow them their time. Wet clothes never felt so good!  

I forgot to give her the panties and garter.  I may come back.  And next time I'll be a little more forceful.  They both seem to like it that way.