Sex at Dawn

If you only read one book on the topic of wife sharing, don't make it mine.  Instead, make it Sex at Dawn.

"How to Make Love Die" is about the "what" of sharing your wife.  It's the real-life example I haven't been able to find anywhere else so I wrote my experince.  But Sex at Dawn is the "why" of wife sharing, and once you understand the why, the how, what, when and where all fall into place.

I was in my twenties when I discovered I like to share my wife.  Fortunately at the time, I had a wife that liked to be shared.  But I was more than confused as to the "why" of what I was feeling.  So was she.

Sex at Dawn is not about fucking in the morning.  It's about what sex was like at the dawn of man, just before we domesticated plants and animals, somewhere around 10,000 years ago.  Why does this matter?  What does this have to do with the here and now?  A lot.

Not only does Sex at Dawn go into how we lived before there were cities, it gives a reason for a nature deeper than the one we're presented with in our current culture, a nature that fits a time when everything was shared, including women.  This was a time just before everything was owned, including women.

Yes, there's a fair amount of science including penis size, body size and all kinds of primate behavior.  But fortunately it's an easy read with lots of interesting examples.  It starts with something Christopher Ryan defines as the "standard narrative" which is what we are brought up to believe, basically monogamy and happily ever after.  Then he takes it apart, bit by bit and replaces it with what we might have been like BEFORE 10,000 years ago and surprise, surprise, it has a LOT to do with sharing wives.  All of a sudden, it all makes sense.

OK, Sex at Dawn has some holes in their Kumbaya theory.  I don't quite buy the paradise and out of Eden ideas, but the good parts dramatically out-weight the bad.  Overall, it DOES make sense.

So if you somehow managed to find this blog, and read this post, don't waste any more time.  Go get Sex at Dawn and read it now.  You'll sleep better at night.  Then let your wife read it.  She'll understand you a lot better.

Reviews of How to Make Love Die

Feedback from email:

"Fierce" - John 04-23-12

"Heart-breaking" - Nancy 07-25-12

"I'm reading your book for the second time. It's a very hot book." - Tank Girl 12-16-2012


Reviews from Amazon:

By Insomnia Romantic, and sexual, intense and tragic-- Buy this book! May 23, 2012

 1 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 starsRomantic, and sexual, intense and tragic-- Buy this book! May 23, 2012

By Insomnia

Format:Paperback

OK, the first part left me envious of this Jack. This was written by
someone who has game, and plays it well. And then he meets a worthy
opponent. By the time of the affair with Tim, the power had shifted,
and all hell breaks lose, in a sexual sense.

The writing is titillating, but also pretty objective. It hints of
analysis and over-analysis to the point of the book acting like
therapy for the narrator. But the details are OK in this form because
it is here where the vivid sex delivers on the promise of porn.

And then it becomes a psycho-spy novel. The super analysis of her
movements was the result of jealousy, and her withdrawal. It wasn't
the game that won her in the first place. Her looking for the stoic
knights was really looking for someone still playing the game, like
the early Jack. Seeing both sides of this drama is such a mind-fuxk!

Tracy cannot be let off so easily though, as she should have had the
strength to be honest about looking elsewhere. Then her denial makes
Jack loose his cool. I couldn't have done what he did. Even putting
the sex aside, this book is intense. I finished two hours ago, and
still can't get to sleep.

Profound Lies November 30, 2012

By chester

Format:Paperback

Hey all ....found this book by accident and could not put it down ...I am not really a voyuer but have an amazing curiosity about all things sexual...the author states he is not a writer and although I'm not any type of litterary critic I found his storytelling ability quite impressive ....he drew me into the story and exposed this soft white underbelly of voyueristic need and insecurity in a way I could not have imagined ....I titled my review "Profound Lies" because I never believed any of the stories his wife told him during the narrative of this book ....he seemed to believe her ....and I think that the story makes more sense if he really did believe her ....but I am a skeptic and not so easily convinced by the touch of the hand or the tear in the eye ... the story is compelling and insightful ....your heart will race during some of the steamy encounters ....but in the end ...love most certainly dies (a painful and prolonged death) .....enjoy .....

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Pornographic Memoir about Love April 14, 2012

By Blue Agnes

Format:Paperback

I've never read a book like this. I almost don't know how to talk about it. It's a book that pulls you in to its whirlpool and you don't know when you'll see air again, or if you even want to. The book is raw-- raw lust, raw pain, raw jealousy, obsession, love stripped bare.

This true story is riveting for a variety of reasons. If you like porn, it has that. The sexual parts (most of the book, really) are explicit in physical detail. At the same time, it's a memoir about love. I've never read such an intense love story. Or is it erotic obsession? Or single-minded devotion? Blind persistence? True love? Or is there such a thing? There are so many layers of reality to sort through that after three readings I still have questions.

In some ways the author himself, for all his candid sharing, can't see what we can see by reading his story. This adds another layer of voyeurism to his, as we, his readers, are open voyeurs by simply reading the book as well as secret voyeurs by being able to see some parts of the reality he can't see. The story is heartbreaking, as foreshadowed by the title, but not necessarily in the way you'd expect.

It's difficult to write this review without including any spoilers. This story would still be compelling, even if I gave away some details, but I don't want to take away any part of its ruinous delight. I will say that near the end of the book the narrator includes some of the wife's perspective which adds yet another layer to the story's multiple layers of truth and meaning.

That's the thing about truth-- it can't be pinned down. It's more like calculus than arithmetic. It's like following the curve of an asymptote, where no matter how far you go, no matter how close you get to the truth, you can never quite reach it. Though calculus is more precise than truth. Truth is more like the parable of the elephant and the group of blind men. Only in the parable, no one has mind-blowing sex or risks getting his heart ripped out by the roots.

The Squirtinators

I've encounter a few women who have squirted every now and then and a couple who could do it on command, but most don't know how or are afraid to try.

I went to an interesting lecture where this guy gave a demonstration with his wife on stage: 

The Squirtinators

Then he ask for a member of the audience and it was even more dramatic. I don't know if she was a plant or not but it was an impressive demo. If you get a chance to see one of his lectures, it's worth your time. Jack

Interesting Quora Post:

Somebody's on topic... Read Quote of Anon User's answer to What Does It Feel Like to X?: What is it like to find out your partner has been having an affair? on Quora or in the book "How to Make Love Die" I go into detail about how it feels to share as well as how it feels to discover you're wife is cheating on you.  As you might imagine, it's a very intense experience.

Insatiable Wives - a Book Review

"Insatiable Wives - Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them" by David J. Ley is one of the very few books to seriously address the subject of trioilism, better known as wife sharing or the hot-wife lifestyle.  And while the treatment is uneven with its personal stories interleaved with history and academic research, it is one of the best sources on this fairly obscure topic so far published.

Actually, the most surprising thing about this book is, what took so long to address the topic?  For decades watching the wife with another man as been the most common scenario submitted to Penthouse Letters.  And questions about being cuckold are among the most common submitted to Dan Savage.  So is David Ley just the first guy with the balls to tackle the topic in a seriously?  Maybe.

And seriously may be generous when it comes to the personal stories, most of which seem to be there as blatantly teasing examples, as if David wanted to make sure and attract the guys of this inclination. And it works, at least for me.

Some are certainly interesting stories, but their selection also clearly demonstrate the weakness of the book - it surprisingly lacks focus and theme.  The author can't seem to decide if he's writing about trioilism, BDSM, cuckoldry or insatiable women.  Even the subtitle bears out his confusion.  Is the topic the women who stray?  Or the men who love them?  For they really ARE two different topics.  These two and many more are covered in this book with uneven application.  At one point, Uri Wernik's work was discussed which is his key to unification, but Ley lets it drop.

Instead, one chapter will have you deep in some cuckolded fantasy, then you get a bucket of cold water with the next chapter trying to guess how women in history might have affected politics.  Still, even the academic chapters steadily become more interesting as they become more useful.  "This Is No Easy Ride" and "A Wild New World of Wife Sharing" are especially good.

In the end, the author gets tied up with all of the "Madonna / Whore" contradictions of our standard narrative so nicely unraveled by "Sex at Dawn" a couple of years later.  In summary, if you're interested in the topic, "Insatiable Wives" is worth the read, but don't forget to follow it up with "Sex at Dawn", which addresses all the issues only touched on by Insatiable Wives.